I recently started my Masters in Counseling Psychology, my program is rooted in Systems theory and transpersonal in its focus. There are many definitions for the word transpersonal, and because the field is young (35 years old) it is constantly expanding and transforming itself. I am constantly reflecting on how lucky I am to have found this place, it feels like home. Spirit and Soul are at the core of what I think about on a daily basis, and the first topic we were introduced to in this program was death. Experiential exercises including Psychosynthesis and Mindfulness thrust us into the depths of this dark topic, but while there I found something unexpectedly light, Love.
Death and Life are rooted together so deeply. I have spent much of my first quarter reflecting on the loved ones I have lost, and I don’t simply remember the grief I felt at their loss, I also remember the life they lived. More specifically I feel the love that they gave. In doing so, I think about the life I am living, the love I am giving. It is reflecting on death, that I see new life.
As a child I felt very closed off to love. Wary of trusting the solidity of others, much of my poetry and prose is an exploration of those feelings. It is strange, I write from a place that is so guarded in order to transcend those feelings. And transcend I have. In these few short weeks, writing and reflecting on past work, I have unfolded in new ways. I am excited in new ways for life, and the experiences I will share with my loved ones.
As a previously defensive and cynical lover of love, I need to see the logic here. Emotionally powerful states of mind have logic to them. I have come to see that the purpose of love is to come to know another deeply, and contribute to their wellness and dreams. In order to do this, you must question yourself how you may I come to know this person, how can I contribute. It must be consciously considered. Listening to this person, intuitively taking in this information is not something that happens on it own, you must care. In order to truly care, you must transcend your own selfishness and egocentricity. In my experience, this is tough work, our ego is more pervasive than we know. Ego roots itself, deep. But transcending this sense of “I” to share a piece of yourself with another gives life a vibrancy that is untouched by any other emotion.
You are irreplaceable.
May all beings be happy.